That's intense
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
