You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize