it's not cheating when I paid for it
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I wish there were birth control emojis
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
