sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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