I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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