DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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