Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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