her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
