I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
