help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
