hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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