i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
