I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
