Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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