some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
