That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He? As in you personified your dick?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
