I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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