Who did Billy Mays play for?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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