I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
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You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
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Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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