i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize