I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
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Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
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I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize