Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
3pm strippers are depressing
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
