I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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