you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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