I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
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He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
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As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.