id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.