Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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