i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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