one two three fourrrrnication!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
