I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
