she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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