You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
