Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
