did you get engaged???
It's Friday. Sex?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
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My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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