I could make wine with my vomit
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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