New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Too much gin, very little bucket
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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