he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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