Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
