thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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