If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
