I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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