He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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