His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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