i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
