is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
