did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
