I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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