They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
