just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
