Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
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I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
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Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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