Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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