How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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