Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
