what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
