You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Randomize
