he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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