I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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