Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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