so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You smell like stripper and shame
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
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I love how my cats smell like pot.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
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Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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