thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
