i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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