do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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